I want to learn French so that I can speak it in my head to myself. Walking down the street today I felt like my whole life I’ve had my eyes shut. I had clear thoughts and saw a lot of beauty in a way that I haven’t seen it in a long time. I thought about the sound of train tracks underneath you as you drift quickly through rice patties and mountains in jungles: The sound of being asleep. For a brief moment I realized that my subconscious was not focused on the way my arm was swinging, or the tilt of my head, I was looking out, and I think I began to see. I don’t know, but when the walk ended I drifted back to my world of closed eyes, but I’m begging, pleading with myself, keep them open, I don’t want to live asleep.
